The subtle violence of self-improvement

I didn’t make that up, I got it from Vinny Ferraro. I had to listen to his Ten Percent Happier episode twice so that I could take note of all of the wisdom grenades he lobbed. I love this idea of self-improvement as a potentially violent act, and the exploration of the limits imposed by anger, fear, and shame. Because, yes. And the antidote: equanimity. I think that’s going to be my word for the next year of my life - what does it mean to me, how can I cultivate it in my life, how can I send it into the world? Vinny says that there’s no part of me that’s beyond redemption. Do I believe this? Does that really feel true? He calls for us to take care of this moment, being the awareness instead of what is passing through it. He also talks about the Buddhist value of not taking what is not ours. This is one I really need to knock around in my brain for a while. I think most of the shit I’m carrying around is not actually mine, not meant for me, has nothing to do with me. I just take it on because I feel bad, because there is a problem in my periphery and I feel like I am supposed to take ownership of it. Why do I do this? Whom does it serve? How do I stop? According to Vinny, the way to stem this flood of nonsense is to tend to this moment, to ask how can I meet this experience? How can this be in the service of awakening?

Now time to start working on my resume. Progress awaits!