TGIF
One thing I’ve always struggled with is a gratitude practice. It’s not that I’m NOT grateful, it’s more that the whole thing feels sort of forced and cheesy. My Waking Up app pointed out that if I’m feeling dissatisfied with my life I’m probably focusing on the wrong things. This is fair. I am feeling legitimately good this week, so I’m taking a beat to reflect on the things that filled my bucket:
My sister was here
Opportunity to spend time with a friend on Monday
Cowboy Carter
No crippling anxiety at the thought of going into the office
Actually feeling like I am helping people at work - getting back to connecting with the people we serve
Going for 2 - 2! - runs! And there’s still tomorrow!
Mayana. If you don’t know, now you know
Exciting plans to see friends over the weekend and like EVERY night next week
I actually meditated like 3 times
I cleaned my room. It’s civilized now
I’m in the middle of a really good book
Scam Goddess really got me this week. A tip of the hat to Laci, Kulap and SuChin.
Belated bday gift arrived, loving my new earrings
Pizza night tonight. Maybe more Resident Alien? Definitely some NWSL.
I can’t believe I almost forgot, I got to participate in Dr. Judith Joseph’s high-functioning depression study. No idea whether my contribution was helpful but it was so empowering to feel like I was doing something to help others.
I’m going to wrap it up here for now, but I feel like I should add the teaser that it’s really no wonder that my depression was so sneaky considering that during my first depressive episode, when I 15 and utterly bewildered by my hopelessness, I sought the counsel of - I shit you not - one of my high school’s football coaches. Why? Hindsight is 20/20. Needless to say I did not receive the soft landing I was hoping for, but instead left his office with a brochure for Outward Bound. The whole debacle feels like a perfect first act for what would become a years-long runaway train ride.
And speaking of TGIF, Jaleel White got married, isn’t that adorable? It legitimately made me feel happy to read that. God bless.
